Workout status

Well, I think it's time to give you all what you've been wondering about lo these past few months. Something that you've all been blessedly too polite to just come out and directly ask me, but something that all the same I know has been preoccupying your thoughts. Oh yes, I'm talking about . . . my bench press.

Well this morning I decided to go for a single on the bench. I haven't even tried to do a barbell bench since back earlier in the Spring when my shoulder was hurting so badly that I couldn't even barely hold more than 200-lbs on the bar, much less lift it.

My first was a warmup of 225-lbs., which I put up 4 times without even feeling it. I could have done that 15 times. Next was 275-lbs. I singled it easily. I even brough it to a clean stop one inch above my chest and put it back up again, smooth as silk. After that was 315. I found a spotter and popped it clean, no problem. After that, I tried to put up my all-time max of 365-lbs. I brought it down cleanly but it stuck about four inches off my chest where my spotter had to grab it. Shit.

Though I certainly didn't expect to get it today, I WILL eventually get to my all-time goal of 405-lbs.

And which one of you slack-jawed retards put that new slogan up? "Coalesce the vapors . . . ? What the fuck?