War of the Worlds
Why does nobody post except me? Dammit, here I am about to become this famous writer and y’all act as if you don’t care! Jealous little bitches, aren’t you? Oh yes, in a few more months—weeks maybe—I’ll be sitting on some Mediterranean beach next to J.K. Rowling, saying to her
Now J--you don’t mind if I call you J, do you?--do be a darling and fetch me another pina colada the next time you see the waiter, for I’m going for a swim.
Okay, back in the real world. I saw “War of the Worlds” last night and thought it was a typical Spielberg/Cruise movie. I don’t think it was crap, but it wasn’t real good, either. To me, it was like “Minority Report” in that it was big fun and dazzling to look at, but ultimately forgettable.
For me, watching one of Spielberg's “summer blockbuster” movies is kind of like eating a big bag of Cheetos for dinner. It tastes good but ultimately leaves you unfulfilled. To me, a good movie is one that, when it’s over, you immediately think about when you can see it again. In that regard, “Batman Begins” was a very good movie. “Star Wars III” was not and neither was “WOTW.” Some other problems I had with it were that I didn’t for a minute buy the notion of Tom Cruise as (a) a longshoreman or (b) the father of a teenage boy. I’m not saying that men of Cruise’s age can’t have teenage boys—obviously they can—but only that Cruise didn’t even come close to selling the scenes they had together. Cruise just doesn’t know how to play “daddy,” in my opinion. He’s an incredibly good-looking actor and he has an expressive face but he’s not real warm or paternal, you know. His scenes with Dakota Fanning were good, but I think that was more because of her than him. And why did they have to play up the cliché about his ex-wife marrying a rich lawyer? As if all dockworkers’ ex-wives end up marrying rich uber-yuppies who rescue them from 2 bedroom row houses (under elevated freeways, no less) and put them up in manses with manicured lawns and a Lexus in the garage. Yeah, that happens all the time . . . in fairy tails!
Guys, I handle workers’ comp claims on injured longshoremen for a living, so I have occasion to meet their wives quite often. Longshoremen, even the ones who make pretty good jack, tend to be a rather rough and dirty fingernailed lot. They’re not bad people by any stretch of the imagination, they just don’t tend to be real elegant, if you know what I mean. And their wives, not surprisingly, tend to be cut from the same cloth. I have yet to meet any longshoreman’s significant other and think to myself hmm, now there goes the future Mrs. Paul Carriere.
If I have seen that stupid cliché, the divorced, down-on-his-luck (cop, construction worker, fireman, whatever) whose ex-wife has married up and whose children are alienated from him, once I’ve seen it a thousand times. Nothing but fucking lazy screenwriting is what it is.
And the ending of the movie has a plot contrivance that is so, well, contrived, and so dishonest and out of sync with the rest of the movie that I audibly groaned when it happened. I won’t spoil it, you’ll just have to see for yourself.
To be metaphorical, this movie is a pond, not a pool. But Robbie, I think you’ll like “WOTW” as we’ve long since established that a pond is good enough for you . . . .
Now J--you don’t mind if I call you J, do you?--do be a darling and fetch me another pina colada the next time you see the waiter, for I’m going for a swim.
Okay, back in the real world. I saw “War of the Worlds” last night and thought it was a typical Spielberg/Cruise movie. I don’t think it was crap, but it wasn’t real good, either. To me, it was like “Minority Report” in that it was big fun and dazzling to look at, but ultimately forgettable.
For me, watching one of Spielberg's “summer blockbuster” movies is kind of like eating a big bag of Cheetos for dinner. It tastes good but ultimately leaves you unfulfilled. To me, a good movie is one that, when it’s over, you immediately think about when you can see it again. In that regard, “Batman Begins” was a very good movie. “Star Wars III” was not and neither was “WOTW.” Some other problems I had with it were that I didn’t for a minute buy the notion of Tom Cruise as (a) a longshoreman or (b) the father of a teenage boy. I’m not saying that men of Cruise’s age can’t have teenage boys—obviously they can—but only that Cruise didn’t even come close to selling the scenes they had together. Cruise just doesn’t know how to play “daddy,” in my opinion. He’s an incredibly good-looking actor and he has an expressive face but he’s not real warm or paternal, you know. His scenes with Dakota Fanning were good, but I think that was more because of her than him. And why did they have to play up the cliché about his ex-wife marrying a rich lawyer? As if all dockworkers’ ex-wives end up marrying rich uber-yuppies who rescue them from 2 bedroom row houses (under elevated freeways, no less) and put them up in manses with manicured lawns and a Lexus in the garage. Yeah, that happens all the time . . . in fairy tails!
Guys, I handle workers’ comp claims on injured longshoremen for a living, so I have occasion to meet their wives quite often. Longshoremen, even the ones who make pretty good jack, tend to be a rather rough and dirty fingernailed lot. They’re not bad people by any stretch of the imagination, they just don’t tend to be real elegant, if you know what I mean. And their wives, not surprisingly, tend to be cut from the same cloth. I have yet to meet any longshoreman’s significant other and think to myself hmm, now there goes the future Mrs. Paul Carriere.
If I have seen that stupid cliché, the divorced, down-on-his-luck (cop, construction worker, fireman, whatever) whose ex-wife has married up and whose children are alienated from him, once I’ve seen it a thousand times. Nothing but fucking lazy screenwriting is what it is.
And the ending of the movie has a plot contrivance that is so, well, contrived, and so dishonest and out of sync with the rest of the movie that I audibly groaned when it happened. I won’t spoil it, you’ll just have to see for yourself.
To be metaphorical, this movie is a pond, not a pool. But Robbie, I think you’ll like “WOTW” as we’ve long since established that a pond is good enough for you . . . .
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