Review: The Chronicles of Riddick
Prior to going to this movie last night, I had a sneaking suspicion that it was going to suck bad. I thought I would read a review for it on-line at imdb.com (internet movie database). They have links to external movie review websites that gave it decent reviews, so off I went (with expectations raised, mind you).
I left the movie actually thinking about some form of action that could be taken against those critics. Yes, it was bad. Beyond paint-by-numbers formulaic (one part Star Trek, two parts Flash Gordon, one part Mortal Kombat), beyond weak and childish in story (the villians are actually called 'Necro-Mongers' who often say "You keep what you kill: It's the Necro-Monger way"). All around it was really just a ploy to get $7.50 out of people by dangling Vin Diesel in front of the screen and making him say Schwarzeneggeresque hard boiled one-liners.
It was WAY too easy for Riddick to dispose his foes (the worst thing he gets is a fat lip and a little sunburn). The villianous Necro-Mongers are WAY too good looking, etc. etc.
Humor me for a second. I can picture what pre-production was like: In an effort to target the young twentysomething crowd, Big studio executives seek a writer for this sequel to 'Pitch Black'. One executive has a silverspoon nephew that dropped out of private school, incessantly smokes weed, and is on the fast track to nowhere. They give him his big break as writer.
He begins: "Okay, so like, there should be like these bad guys, right? And like they have these weird metal faces on all sides of their heads right? And they want to take over the universe you know, like the whole friggin galaxy man, you know what I'm sayin? Exept wait...WAIT...don't call it the universe..call it the Underverse...Yeah man...great idea man!! whoa.. that's deep.. anybody have any cheetos up in here?"
That's all from me now. PEACE!
I left the movie actually thinking about some form of action that could be taken against those critics. Yes, it was bad. Beyond paint-by-numbers formulaic (one part Star Trek, two parts Flash Gordon, one part Mortal Kombat), beyond weak and childish in story (the villians are actually called 'Necro-Mongers' who often say "You keep what you kill: It's the Necro-Monger way"). All around it was really just a ploy to get $7.50 out of people by dangling Vin Diesel in front of the screen and making him say Schwarzeneggeresque hard boiled one-liners.
It was WAY too easy for Riddick to dispose his foes (the worst thing he gets is a fat lip and a little sunburn). The villianous Necro-Mongers are WAY too good looking, etc. etc.
Humor me for a second. I can picture what pre-production was like: In an effort to target the young twentysomething crowd, Big studio executives seek a writer for this sequel to 'Pitch Black'. One executive has a silverspoon nephew that dropped out of private school, incessantly smokes weed, and is on the fast track to nowhere. They give him his big break as writer.
He begins: "Okay, so like, there should be like these bad guys, right? And like they have these weird metal faces on all sides of their heads right? And they want to take over the universe you know, like the whole friggin galaxy man, you know what I'm sayin? Exept wait...WAIT...don't call it the universe..call it the Underverse...Yeah man...great idea man!! whoa.. that's deep.. anybody have any cheetos up in here?"
That's all from me now. PEACE!
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