I've Been 30 Since I was 25!

It's interesting to hear you older brothers talk about this. The common thread is that things tend to get a little easier in your 30's. James said "I feel I'm on the cusp of something larger and I can't wait to get on with it," Rob said "I really hit my stride". I feel like it's going to be the same way for me. That's a nice feeling. Now if I can just get off the smack...

We rented "The Machinist" last night. I've been wanting to see that for a while. It was spooky but it had my attention the whole time. I had no idea how it was going to end because it had an unpredictable sense of entropy about it. I mean, after a while you could tell he was going insane but you never know why or what is going to happen to him as his insanity worsens. That is until the end. I agree with you James, cool flick.

We've been having a lazy Saturday around here. We went to the mall to have a family picture made (I'll post it when we get them). Lillian was only good for one picture, then the train derailed! What is it about babies not wanting to have their pictures taken professionally? Anyway, we bought a lawnmower today too because the old used one we have is dead. Now I just need to go ask that young asian boy down the street: "How'd you like to mow my lawn, HUH HMM HUH!?"

Late 20s for CB2

My late 20s were a little different. At 27, Rebekah and I were in the process of moving back to Houston from Long Island. We had been married for 4 years, Christian was 3 years old. Things were very tough, but I was about to enter one of the better stretches of my life. I was just getting started in the software industry and I was feeling like a complete idiot at work.

By not finishing college, getting married at 23 and having a child at 24, I pretty much set out on a rocky path that began to get easier in my late twenties, but really didn't hit my stride until 30.

For me, my thirties have been far more enjoyable, with the notable exception of having to deal wih 3 ruptured discs in the ole backside.

Happy Birthday Mike

If you guys want to see a weird movie . . .

. . . check out "The Machinist." It's out at Blockbuster right now and has Christian Bale playing the title character. Bale, before he buffed up for "Batman Begins" lost over 65 lbs. for this role. Bale isn't me, guys. I could lose 65 lbs. (yeah, right!) and people would tell me how great I look. But Bale's normal weight is around 180-lbs. He went all the way down to like 120 for this role. It is positively frightening to look at him, too. He is downright skeletal. His ribs, shoulder blades and pelvic bones all prominently jut out and his skin looks as thin as paper. I am serious, you will hurt for Bale as you watch the movie. You'll also marvel at the self-discipline he obviously has to have done that to himself. You think Tom Hanks suffered for his craft in "Philadelphia?" Shit, that's nothing compared to what Bale did to himself in "The Machinist." He's almost unrecognizable, he's so thin. He's a wraith.

And the movie is quite good, too, in a sort of independent movie way. It's a psychological thriller about a man who is losing his mind. He is afflicted with chronic insomnia (he tells people that he hasn't slept in a year) and can't make himself stop losing weight. The ending ties up nicely too in a way that doesn't insult your intelligence. The movie's derivative, and I thought about a handful of other movies that obviously inspired it, like "Insomnia" and "Memento," but it's better than those, in my opinion.

Highly recommended.

Recollections of late 20s.

I remember when I was 27 being real busy. It was comparable to what it felt like to be a senior in high school with only a month left in the school year. You know that you're on the cusp of something bigger and you're eager to get on with it.

I had just started my career in Beaumont and my life was in major flux. Things were changing profoundly in my life then. I got married and Erica became pregnant with Courtney when I was 27 so that year was a whirlwind. I remember that my life had this wonderful feeling of forward momentum, like I was a leaf floating in a fast moving stream, like it does during all times of rapid change, so in that sense Mark I guess I agree with your characterization.

Mark and Mike, I don't want to say that your 30s will suck. You don't ever want to characterize a whole 10-year period of your life that way, but I will say that things will become a lot more serious for you then. Mark, with a (still) new marriage, a new daughter and career, you've pretty much already entered your thirties in spirit if not yet on the calendar. Mikey, enjoy these last few years of frivolity. There will be a time very soo when you'll look back on them and realize that that period is gone. So enjoy it, dude.

And happy birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIKE!!

Mike the Tyke... IS FRIGGIN 27 NOW!! I'm the second-youngest Coopbro and that makes ME feel old. Mike, may God bless you as you enter a strange area of your vintage.

A few thoughts on life as a late 20 something'er from someone about to enter the 30's: I can say that being in your late-20's is somewhat... unique. Maybe this is the time that we get sobered with the realities of life. On the positive side, we become more in tune with who we are and we get more spiritual. On the negative side we realize that we are not bulletproof. We realize that we are not going to become millionaires, rock stars, nor sports legends. Our plans for the future change because we change. Sometimes this creates a conflict within us that makes us feel as though we are taking steps back in life, as opposed to the giant strides foward we were taking in our early 20's...

What do you older farts think about this?? I'd like to know your reflections of your late 20's

Too funny not to post!

A Website to Check Out

Que anda' hermanos?

Mike, that scene in "Airplane" had to be ad-libbed. I'm afraid I'm going to have to go with James on this one. This will cost you 5 points... blog on!

As long as you are killing time on the internet (since you are reading THIS), check out this site : www.tomcruiseisnuts.com

It is a hilarious website dedicated to showcasing how off-his-rocker Mr Cruise is. The subtitle to the blog is a quote from the site under "Tom on Scientology".

Tic tac, sir?

Sounds like Mikey's been tippin' back on grandpa's cough medicine again. Hope you brizzles have all had a good week. I am here at the office on a Saturday. Not a lot to write about. I'm going to try to get back down to Houston in either later this month or early next to be with Courtney before she starts school.

Im only gonna say this once, if you wanna stay here.... stay off the drugs

Whats up boys? Just here in H-town chillen in tha cut with my nigga's. Shhhheeeettt.
"Cut a say i cant hang! Tight me."
"Excuse me I speak jive. Just relax blood we gonna catch up a bit on the med side."
"I aint no turkey, my momma neva dug her rap"
"Cut me some slack jack, shheettt jive ass dude aint got no blood any how."

Edi Amin?!! More like V.D. I Mean, or so I hear.

Whazzup my nizzels. James, reading your incoherent rants is like watching a baboon masterbate at the zoo. It's sorta interesting, in a bizarre way, but I always end up walking away thinking that I could've done it better.

I'm just kidding. (about your musings, not about the baboon)

ANYWAY, If anyone has a couple of hours to kill, and hasn't watched "Be Cool" yet. It is worth the rental, just to watch Vince Vaughn play a wanna be music producer, who thinks he's black and watch the Rock play his gay bodyguard. Travolta and Uma Thurman are uninspiring. I loved the original, "Get Shorty" This time, Travolta's character ends up with a Gas/Electric hybrid instead of a minivan.

J. Alan Cooper. Monsignor J. Alan Cooper . . . M.D.

Or perhaps I could take a page from Idi Amin's book and call myself "Field Marshall Doctor J. Alan Cooper Dada." I've always liked that idea and I have always thought that Amin was underrated as far as 20th Century Third World dictators go. He was like the Gary Hogeboom of tinpot dictators. He didn't have the industrial base to cause a world war like Hitler or scare generations of Americans like Stalin. He couldn't even make a name for himself in killing huge numbers of his own people, like Mao and the Khmer Rouge did, as Uganda just wasn't populous enough to do anything like that. I mean, what's an aspiring Third World tyrant to do?

Well, what Amin lacked in brains and competence, he made up for in enthusiasm. He thought to himself it's just not enough to kill people any more; no, if you want to get noticed nowadays, you have to have a gimmick, so I won't just kill people, I'll wear makeup! No, no, KISS is already doing that. Wait a minute, I know! I won't just kill people, I'll EAT THEM too! So, armed with his secret police (and a fork) he set about his task with aplomb. That, and he dressed the part, too. I mean, he liked to strut around in his dapper uniform, wearing his Top Gun-style Ray-Bans. What's not to like, right? He looked like a fat version of the leader of the Riffs in The Warriors. I mean, once you get past the whole EATING PEOPLE thing, he wasn't so bad.

Okay, boy, that was a long and weird tangent, even for me. Guys, thank you all for the birthday greetings. I went out and had a nice dinner last night with a friend named Dawn who is a secretary for a lawyer I do a lot of work against. Yes, yes, I know. He's on the other side of the aisle from me (he represents employees in their comp claims) but he's still my best friend in this city. Anyway, it was nice. Not thrilling (i.e., I didn't get laid, nor did I try to) but nice.

I've got a bit of a quandry to pose to y'all but it'll take me time to write it all out. Robbie knows a bit of the story from yesterday, but not all of it. I'll write it all out later.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Hope you're having a good one, bro!

That's cool that you are being recognized on the internet for your writing skills. You should seriously consider changing your name to "J. Allan Cooper". It just sounds cooler, you know?

"The Art of Having a Repartee while avoiding an Ad Hominum" by J. Allan Cooper

...I like it!

P.S. Anyone see Fantastic Four yet??

Happy Birthday

Just wanted to say have a great day brother! Been thinking about ya.

War of the Worlds

Why does nobody post except me? Dammit, here I am about to become this famous writer and y’all act as if you don’t care! Jealous little bitches, aren’t you? Oh yes, in a few more months—weeks maybe—I’ll be sitting on some Mediterranean beach next to J.K. Rowling, saying to her

Now J--you don’t mind if I call you J, do you?--do be a darling and fetch me another pina colada the next time you see the waiter, for I’m going for a swim.

Okay, back in the real world. I saw “War of the Worlds” last night and thought it was a typical Spielberg/Cruise movie. I don’t think it was crap, but it wasn’t real good, either. To me, it was like “Minority Report” in that it was big fun and dazzling to look at, but ultimately forgettable.

For me, watching one of Spielberg's “summer blockbuster” movies is kind of like eating a big bag of Cheetos for dinner. It tastes good but ultimately leaves you unfulfilled. To me, a good movie is one that, when it’s over, you immediately think about when you can see it again. In that regard, “Batman Begins” was a very good movie. “Star Wars III” was not and neither was “WOTW.” Some other problems I had with it were that I didn’t for a minute buy the notion of Tom Cruise as (a) a longshoreman or (b) the father of a teenage boy. I’m not saying that men of Cruise’s age can’t have teenage boys—obviously they can—but only that Cruise didn’t even come close to selling the scenes they had together. Cruise just doesn’t know how to play “daddy,” in my opinion. He’s an incredibly good-looking actor and he has an expressive face but he’s not real warm or paternal, you know. His scenes with Dakota Fanning were good, but I think that was more because of her than him. And why did they have to play up the cliché about his ex-wife marrying a rich lawyer? As if all dockworkers’ ex-wives end up marrying rich uber-yuppies who rescue them from 2 bedroom row houses (under elevated freeways, no less) and put them up in manses with manicured lawns and a Lexus in the garage. Yeah, that happens all the time . . . in fairy tails!

Guys, I handle workers’ comp claims on injured longshoremen for a living, so I have occasion to meet their wives quite often. Longshoremen, even the ones who make pretty good jack, tend to be a rather rough and dirty fingernailed lot. They’re not bad people by any stretch of the imagination, they just don’t tend to be real elegant, if you know what I mean. And their wives, not surprisingly, tend to be cut from the same cloth. I have yet to meet any longshoreman’s significant other and think to myself hmm, now there goes the future Mrs. Paul Carriere.

If I have seen that stupid cliché, the divorced, down-on-his-luck (cop, construction worker, fireman, whatever) whose ex-wife has married up and whose children are alienated from him, once I’ve seen it a thousand times. Nothing but fucking lazy screenwriting is what it is.

And the ending of the movie has a plot contrivance that is so, well, contrived, and so dishonest and out of sync with the rest of the movie that I audibly groaned when it happened. I won’t spoil it, you’ll just have to see for yourself.

To be metaphorical, this movie is a pond, not a pool. But Robbie, I think you’ll like “WOTW” as we’ve long since established that a pond is good enough for you . . . .

Holy shizzle!

I was fucking around on Gizzoogle and having a good time laughing at stuff when I got the idea to "gizzoogle" our fair weblog. The funny site is just a mirror of another search engine but what was cool is that I found a music site that links to my screed about hair metal bands that I wrote last June. It's called "altmusic" or something like that.

"I'm a somebody! Things are going to start happening to me now!"

And who can name that quote?

And also . . .

I have finally gotten a local (i.e., north Florida) cell number. Please make note of it guys, as my old number is officially dead. My new number is 904.521.8033.

'twas a great Fourth!

Hey all. Boy, it sure was a great holiday we had this past weekend. Mark & Mike, I am not kidding you, Rob and his neighbors had so many fireworks that they were the 3rd most powerful country in the world before we shot them all off. I'm serious, we could have lugged them south and conquered Mexico or something. Could have taken the place over and renamed it "Coopistan." But, as usual, all of my brilliant ideas always come to me after the fact.

Anyway, here's Courtney enjoying the festivities. For the rest of the pictures I took, click here.