BTW

Mark, I went by the S.A. office today and I must say that the new signs look really good. I visited with Griffith, Bill and Vivian too. Bill tells me that leads are slow right now. How is business in Dallas?

My addiction

. . . isn't "squirt cheese," thought I like Cheez-Whiz as much as anyone, but peanut butter. Give me a jar of extra crunchy Peter Pan and a box of saltines and I'm good to go. Mike and Rob, what are y'all's favorite guilty pleasure foods?

Squirt Cheese

I LUUUV squirt cheese! They put this crap right by the checkout lines in the Kroger near my house. That along with the Ritz crackers. Dangerously brilliant marketing if you ask me. I'm enjoying some squirt cheese on a ritz cracker right now!

I haven't been following any of the Fallujah stuff real close. I only hear soundbytes on the talk radio that I listen to. I bought a book recently called "Preachers of Hate", subtitled "Islam and the War on America". It is about the depth of hatred that certain extremist muslims have for America and Israel. I'll let you know how it is.

Showtime in the Sunni Triangle

Are you guys keeping up with events in Fallujah Iraq? It looks like the Marines have finally lost patience and are going in to blow the bad guys out of that dusty little shithole, house by house if necessary. My only thought is, what took them so long? If the ceasefire was only to allow the good guys time to reposition and reequip, that would be okay. If however, we were legitimately trying to negotiate a truce with the kind of savages who would kill and mutilate civilains like those people did last month, then someone over there needs their head examined. People like that can't be reasoned with. They can only be engaged, fought and killed. I am very much of the school of thought of Col. Hal Moore (played by Mel Gibson in "We Were Soldiers") who, on the eve of being deployed to Vietnam, prayed about the enemy:

Dear Lord, we ask that you hear not their heathen prayers and help us to blow those little bastards straight to hell. Amen.

Now that was a man who knew his job!

Toosday Thots

Hey guys. I'm Beaumont blogging! I'm here doing a file review in the office I used to work in back in the early and mid-90's. I tell you, most people don't have a lot of nice things to say about this little town, but I love it. Anyway, not too much to talk about, all in all.

And Mark, my "it" post took me only 5 minutes to write.

Touch blue, make it true...

Rob, you heartless wench, that probably took James a half hour to write! AND YOU POOPED ON IT!!

It sounds like a good time was had by all in Austin. I finally got to swing the sticks (golf...to the layperson) this weekend. I hadn't done that in like 4 months. Ironically, I had one of my better rounds (snowman on number one notwithstanding). Have you played in a while, Rob?

Other than that, just doin my thizzle.

On the workfront, we are pouring a new driveway approach for the Dallas office. My permit application was denied. The city says that you can't have two driveway approaches on the same lot, which is pure unadulterated crapola. Trouble is, we are three fourths into this sucker already and moving forward is now an act of blatant defiance rather than ignorance. Dad is kind of pissed that I went to the city in the first place. Oh well.

What the f***

I'm not following this clever banter. Also wanted to say that we had a great time this weekend. I thought it was so cool that Aunt Gay came to the party. Despite what I may sometimes say about our Pappy, I respect like hell the fact that he and Susan and Warren and Kristina will open their homes/hearts/families to every person and/or animal that would like to join.

Speaking of puppies, Mike, your little pooch gave Snoop a cough and now Snoop can't get his huevos cut off today. Shit! We were so looking forward to that.

Begging to differ . . .

All of that's true Mark, however you should always keep in mind that playing "it" can be an exercise in perspective. What I mean by this is that your presumption of "it" can be rebutted - even retroactively - by a calling of "anti-quitsies" before making all the other requisite proclamations. From an "it" standpoint (especially from the perspective of your adversary) this would serve to make you practically bulletproof. I am aware of other theories out there, however as I've always been more of a bricks & mortar guy than a theoritician, this seems to be the best "real world" strategy.

Truth..

Tis true, you cannot triple-stamp a double-stamp. However one may erase a double-stamp, then tag the other party as "it", then call "quitsies", followed by a triple-stamp AND a no-erasies.

So how was the gathering?

It rained on us this weekend in the werf. Did it rain in Austin? What do you guys think of Dad's little oudoor hamlet?

Good party

Hope everyone feels okay this morning. I had a bitch of a headache when I got home last night and went strsight to bed when we got home (slept like the dead, too) but woke up feeling fine. So far, we're just enjoying a lazy and rainy Sunday and I'm about to pack up and head to Houston.

Did he just say "big fat pig?"

Losing Weight is all the Rage!

But you can't blame em.. Who wants to look like a big fat PIG!!!

New Template

I'm changing the look of the blog because I'm bored with the look of the old one . . . and because I can! Bwhahahhahaha!

Oh, it's so lonely at the top of Olympus!

Check out Mark with da brain!

Good catch, Mark. That's one of the first things Gunny Hartman says to Pvt. Pyle in "Full Metal Jacket." That was after he askes him "did your parents have any children who lived??"

Full Metal Jacket?

Is that the quote?

Will you buy me some new tires too?

Rob, though you're a disgusting fatbody (and big kudos to whomever can ID that quote) who refuses to work out, you're always welcome to flop at mi casa. Just know however that I am in Houston this week.

Hey, you tryin to make time with my best girl? Hmm?!

I'm halfway thru the state workers' comp certification and it's proving to be only marginally more entertaining than the property and casualty portion last week. I'll take the test on Thursday then point my truck west back to SA. Robbie, I'd love to see your crew but, believe it or not, this program requires a lot of study. Next week we'll all get together.

Mikey, please call me at mom's at your convenience. I need your advice about my workout program.

See y'all in Austin this weekend.

"Princess.. looks more like a prince to me."

Whats up dudes? Just working a lil bit on a Tuesday looking forward to seeing all of you that will be there in Austin this weekend.

"So far no one's quit, but they will...hmm hmm!"

Fellow dudes,

All's well on the northside. We had a GREAT Saturday. I slept in, got the yard cut, grilled steaks on the grill, watched Lillian smile a lot, rented a couple of flicks, etc.. It was great.

Sunday we finally got to go back to church (my spirit was thirsty for that). Then we went to Austin for a baby shower for Josh and Wendy and Melanie and Issac. We stayed the night. Dad and I went to SA this morning for Centex House Leveling Academy of Foundation Repair!

"My NAME...IS BEN COOPER...in case you missed it"

All six of the trainees are hanging in there. I have to say, I am impressed with how motivated they are. They did some role playing for the rest of the estimators that were there and they sounded really good.

Time will tell. I don't think Dad has given them any false expectations or blue sky promises. They are certainly aware of their need to generate the business on their own. He seems to have successfully communicated to them that, in spite of the difficulty, it can be done. Like I said time will tell. You have to hand it to Dad though, this is a ballsy thing to do when the business is down!

Anyway, be never not cool!

No, I'm not working out. Now get off of my ass!

J- Do you need us to watch just Courtney or both of the girls. Either way is no problemo.

I am coming to SA tomorrow and need tha use a yo crib. Dinner on IBI!

Good Monday to You

Hey guys. How was every ones weekend? Mine was pretty good, spent alot of time just relaxing. I did make it out to Memorall park on Saterday and Sunday. I haven't ran in a couple of weeks and I can really tell by my endurance. I finished the 3 miles both times but my time was pretty slow. I think I'm going back to the gym this week for some weight training. James I'll keep you updated on that. Im sure that i'm pretty weak but that come back pretty fast for me. I'm down to close to 200lbs which is where i want to be. Dont really have much else to say right now. I hope you guys have a good week!

You may have a lot of bitches . . .

Hey gang.

Took my test today for my Property/Casualty adjusters license. I passed of course, but not exactly with flying colors. Oh well, my certificate won't have my score on it and, if the rest of my adjusting career is anything like my first 8 years were, I will never use the property part. Property claims bore the shit out of me anyway. The test was 150 questions and, to pass, you had to score a 70 or above. I made an 83. Maybe I should have studied . . . .

So what's everyone doing for the weekend? Erica and I are going to try AGAIN to see "Walking Tall" tonight. Courtney's at a birthday slumber party tonigfht for one of her soccer friends and Megan's working.

Robbie, are you back in the gym yet? I worked out 5 times this week (1 upper, 2 lower, 2 cardio) and I'm now working up to 14 plates for my final set every time I do leg press. To save the wear and tear on my knees, for cardio I do 20 minutes power walking on the treadmill set to between 4.0 and 4.5 and at about a 3.5 incline. Gets my heart going, for sure.

Have a good one y'all.

Now that you mention it, my name is Easy-E and, well yes, come to think of it, I do have bitches galore!

So Isaac's the new manager, eh? Knowing Isaac - how much money's he's making in Austin - I would imagine that dad had to twist his arm bigtime to get him to agree to this. Isaac's no fool, I think he probably knows that San Antonio is a career graveyard for Centex estimators, no matter how good they are. Wouldn't surprise me at all if he's polishing his resume right now. Isaac's a great guy but he had the cushiest job in the whole company there in Austin. He sold (and quite well too) in Austin with not too many headaches. He's going to find headaches aplenty in S.A., that I can assure you. I hope for his sake, Dad has put him on a salary because there's no way in hell he'll be able to make Austin money down here.

How's the "apprentice" thing going? I went to the office earlier in the week to say hi to Dad and 4 very earnest people jumped up to shake my hand. I felt like hollering at them in my best Phil Hartman "Frank Sinatra" voice: siddown you brown-nosers!

Anyway, considering that number 4 used to do crazy shit like throw telephone poles over buildings and drive spikes thru brick walls with his pecker, I must vote nay to your suggestion to call him "The Tyke." I'd call him The Tank, maybe, but not the other one. Some names you just outgrow, Porky.

Robbie, are you going to be able to watch Court for us this June?

i vote NOT

Unless we can can call you Mark the Fart.. the fart in the dark.. make a spark!

and one more thing..

James, watch those orange daquiris on Bourbon st. They taste great, but they can grab you by the boo boo in a hurry (as I'm sure Mike can attest)!

Further, I vote we start calling Mike by his old name "The Tyke" or formally "Mike the Tyke on Saturday Night"

Caught the PCU quote, not the PRINCESS BRIDE quote.

Don't forget to give the goose a birthday hug from me, btw.

Did any of you elders catch Mike's PCU quote? It was when Gutter (Jon Favreau in his fat days) was walking around stoned. He was approached by a woman wanting to know where the campus is, but what he heard was...

Dad is pretty much status quo. He is wrapped up in this Foundation Repair Academy thing. We are going down to Austin on Sunday for Josh and Wendy's baby shower, then Monday I am going with Dad to SA. The other GMs are going too. Did you know that Issac was taking over in San Antonio?

I've been wrapped up in getting my office ready. It's coming along pretty good. I expect to be done in about two more weeks.

We are finally getting somewhat of a relaxing (meaning no going anywhere) weekend. All this driving to Houston has been a vicious ass-whipping! I think Friday we are going to see .....HELLBOY! Sorry. It looks too cool! Stay tuned for a review...

"Inconceivable!"

"You keep saying that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

Rob, good catch on the quote. Knew you'd nail it.

Questions for you and 'Bekah: what are y'all's plans for next weekend? Are y'all going to the party? If so, will y'all go to Warren's house afterward for the concert by Gary's band? We'll be there for the party but I'm thinking that we'll bug out before the concert. Let me know what y'all are doing, please.

Also, could y'all watch Courtney (and possibly Megan) the weekend of June 11 for us? Erica and I are going to New Orleans for our 10th and this will be a grownups only party, if you know what I mean. I cannot get shit-faced in the French Quarter with The Goose in tow. First, I get shit-faced, then I get O-faced! Sorry Mark.

Mark, good luck on the crib training. We succeeded in getting Courtney out of our bed when she was, oh, 8 I think. Also, how's Dad lately? I went by and saw him at the San Antonio office the other day when I was on lunch break from class. A real brief visit. He was in the middle of "Foundation Philosophy 101" when I walked in.

Mikey, hope all's going well in work and all. Sounds great about taking Meg to an A&M game and I'm sure she'd love it. However, I'm also sure that she'd swat your ass if she saw that you spelled her name with an H in it.

Megan might be Brooklyn College material

Congrats to Megan. love to Courtney. I will take the girls out for a celebration next time I'm in town. Just the girls, you and Erica will have to stay home.

The movie line comes from "The Princess Bride" where Facini is challenging the man in black to a battle of wits.

Come on man, give me a challenge.

"Excuse me, can you blow me where the pampers is?"

Mark, I'm going through the same thing with my Dog and what I do is just lock her in the outside game room so that I cant hear it. That might be a possibility! J/K. James, give Court a big birthday hug and kiss for me. Next year we should all take Meghan to an A&M Football game and see the campus.

Glitch

Hey guys. I've had a computer problem so I haven't been able to post. My computer's clock was showing a different time in 1971. Weird.

Anyway, that's great about Megan's SATs. About the movie quote: I don't know. I see Belushi saying that, or Bill Murray?

Natalie is in the other room and Lillian is going ape dookie. Tonight is the second night we are trying to crib train her.....it's not going smoothly (but this is not unexpected). We've resorted to listening to her cry and boy is it hard.

And for even more about my girls . . .

BTW, guys. I've been bragging about Megan so much that I almost forgot to REMIND y'all that today's Courtney's 9th birthday.

Whoop!

Hell yeah, she's still looking at A&M. And, funny you should mention that, but she was actually shooting for a 1300. In fact, she originally planned that, if she didn't make a 1300, that she'd retake the test. I think now though that she won't. Being that she's only a junior though, she's got plenty of time to make up her mind about that.

I think this is going to her head a little, though. I heard that she's strutting around the halls of her school calling out to people in the hall:

"Wanna know how smart I am? Ever heard of Aristotle, Socrates?"

"Yeah" they reply.

"Morons."

And kudos to whichever of you slackjaws can tell me what movie that's from.

School is about as exciting as watching two flies fuck. I won't even go into it. I can NOT believe that I have another two weeks of this crap before I get my license.

1280

Why was it not a 1300?? J/K Thats a great score. Is she still looking at A&M?

Well, at least half was from you!

Given that you scored about 640, I'd say that half of her score could be attributed to you. Way to go.

Megan's SAT

Megan just got her score: a 1280! Man, is that girl smart or what?

She get's it all from me, of course . . .

Easter thoughts

Happy Easter, guys.

My girls and I came to Houston to see the in-laws. It was a nice Easter, notwithstanding the bitter cold. Shit, and I packed shorts and a tshirt to drive home! Needless to say, I came home in my church clothes.

I have to attend adjuster class all this week and next to get licensed by the state again. I last attended these classes back in 1993 and even then, when I didn't know a thing about what I was learning, the main challenge was just fighting boredom. I was hoping that I'd be able to renew my license by just sending the Dept. of Insurance a check. Even though I let my license lapse in 97, I was licensed in Alabama until 2002. The people at the TDI were not impressed and told me that I have to take the exams again. Thus, I'll be in San Antonio this week and Houston the next getting my classtime in. After that, I'll be legal again so I'll be getting back to work.

I don't have any funny anecdotes, movie quotes or anything else like that. Frankly, I'm in kind of a melancholy mood, what with all I hear about Rachel and with all the bullshit going on in Iraq. Sandy, Erica's brother's wife, has a job with a KBR subcontractor and is trying to get into Iraq right now. She's stuck in Amman, Jordan at the moment and hopes to be in Iraq by Tuesday. Everyone's worried about her. Fortunately, she'll be in Kurdistan (Kirkuk) where the people, unlike the rest of those ingrate bastards, are avidly pro-American. Still, it's a dangerous place.

And, like all of y'all, Rachel's situation is weighing on my heart.

So, I hope all of you kiss your families (Mikey, you can kiss your girlfriend) and hold them close. We know not how blessed we all are in this holiest of seasons.

Tom Ace, gladtameetcha!

Mikey: Ha-ha-ha-ha . . . ooh!

Going back to SA tonight. It's been a good three days here in Houston but I won't be back for 3 weeks. Since I let my Texas adjusters license lapse in 1997, I have to take the test again. I'll be in class all next week in San Antonio and the following week in Houston. Mikey, I'd love to see your place then.

Damn, that was a great dinner last night!

Does he have a name or should I call him..Lawyer

Robbie, congratulations on all your successes.. You smell terrific!

Happy Birthday to me!

Thank you for the well wishes. Mike. congrats on the puppy. They are a handfull. Dinner tonight (sorry Mark) is at Churrascos at 6:45.

Toos day..too

Morning guys. The movie was Old School, please don't waste my time! What's going on fellas? I got some disappointing news yesterday as one of my accounts that I've been working on fell through and their going with on of my competitors. I don't really know the reason, just that they are. I guess that shit happens and that it really is a numbers game. James, that's great about your 1st day. "Maybe you need to buy yourself a new map." (movie line) It's gotta be nice working in a nice place. If you've seen Being John Malkovich, the seen in which they are going into a room that enters his brain and the room gets extremely short, that is what our sales office looks like. Rob, I would love to see you work up here. I can also hear the squirrels that are trapped above the ceiling running around.. REAL PROFESSIONAL! Anyway, have a good one guys.

Toos-day

Mark, I don't recognize the quote.

As we IM'ed about last night, I had a good day yesterday. Honestly, since I left GE Capital back in 1993, I have only worked in very small - usually very ugly - offices. Dad's building in San Antonio isn't even the worst place I've ever worked either, that honor going to that pestilent first office I had to work in in Mobile. Ugh. That place can be best described by the old song "One Headlight" which was popular back when I was there: It smells of cheap old wine and cigarettes, this place is always such a mess, sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn. Anyway, my point is that this place I'm working at now is nice. It's clean and extremely well organized, with 22 people working here. That's a nice change for me. And it's REAL nice not to have to wear that goddamned Nextel on my hip.

Anyway, yesterday I went to College Station (we have an office there) to pick up a box of files. I don't know why, but I always thought 249 went directly to CS. Anyway, I took the scenic route back to mom's house, going 105 to Plantersville from Navasota, thence to Magnolia and Tomball. Wow, what a beautiful drive. Gang, I think I've found where I want to live.

Hope you guys have a good day. Rob and Mike, I'll see y'all tonight. Mark, my prayers stay with Rachel and the family. Speaking of which, please tell me where she is at MD Anderson. I'd like to drop by and maybe see them.

Que Paso?

What's going on my brothers? No posts in a while.. Often I sit here, not unlike you right now reading this, and I think "Hey, I'll check the Coopbros blog and see what clever little rants are posted by those whacky Cooper boys. Truly one of them might whisk me away to a far away place called 'obscure movie quote land'. Oh what glee!"

Then I click the link, and my drooly grin melts down to a frown, whereupon more drool falls out. "Aww MAN!" I whine as I click the refresh button, thinking maybe the site has a glitch or something. No posts. What a jip.

..(5 minutes later).. Well doesn't that beat all get out! James, you stole the thunder out of my post by breaking the silence and getting your post in seconds before mine! OOOOOH! That's incredible about Megan. Tell her I said great job!

Anyway, we are crib-training Lil tonight. No sleepy for me!

Name That Line...

"I..I can see blue.... He looks glorious!!"

happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Rob! I'll be there tommorrow night too. Also, Im a proud papa as of yesterday of a 6 week old boxer pup.

GROSS!!

Stop reinforcing the visual James! You're a handsome fellow, but I don't need any more mentals of the bone-rollercoaster.

So no more nextel? (You lucky s.o.b.!)

Rob, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

We're going to be down there again Friday afternoon sometime.

First day back

Hey guys. I'm blogging from Houston on my first day on the job at AS&G. All in all, it feels good to be back. Damn, I have forgotten a lot, though. Needless to say, I'll be doing a lot of reading the next few weeks trying to relearn everything.

Did not see Walking Tall the other night. We decided to just rent a movie instead. For what it's worth, I did get my "O-face" on, though.

Rob, happy birthday dude. I think Mom mentioned that we're taking you to dinner tomorrow? I'll be there.

Walking Tall

Gettin ready to go see Walking Tall like a motherfucker. I'll blog about it later, maybe even do the first ever Coopbros movie review! Megan just left for her Junior prom (God what a beautiful kid) and Courtney is spending the night at a friend's house so we're going to grab a quick dinner (a salad, Rob; some people still take this whole diet thing seriously!) see the movie then hopefully before the night's over, maybe work on my "O-face" ;).

Got a new cell phone today: 210.355.1525.

Last day at Centex

Hey guys. Well, this is it. Frankly, I've been kind of moping around all week second guessing myself for leaving. I keep asking myself if I'm doing the right thing until I have face time with dad, whereupon I'm totaly reassured that yes, the thing for me to do is leave.

I don't know what it is but in a lot of ways dad and I are like oil and water. I guess it's the mom in me, but after three years I can't help but think that being around him too much really isn't that good for me. Yesterday he was here and he began pissing and moaning about me leaving. He even insinuated that I was a quitter (at least, that's how I took it). This is a paraphrase of my response:

"A quitter?" I said. "Excuse me? Me . . . a quitter? No. I have put up with your bullshit and this declining market for three fucking years with no reward. THREE YEARS I have been banging my head against this brick wall and it hasn't fallen down. But I am no quitter. And you can talk all you want about the 'different things' we could do in marketing and you can talk it up like it's some grand game or adventure - as I'm sure it is to you - but the fact remains that at the end of the day, you're still the rich man. You can bitch at me about sales or San Antonio's profitability but still run off and go skiing every damned month. I can't. I'm the one who has to listen to you and lay awake at night wondering how I can make my life, and that of my family, better through this place. I'm leaving because I've lost faith that I can."

. . . and that seemed to hold him for about a half an hour.

Seriously, he backed off after that. But that only illustrates one of his main character flaws. Dad hates to be argued with. He purposefully surrounds himself with boot-lickers and yes-men in Austin and anyone will tell you that you cannot long remain in his presence without touching your head to the floor. I don't do that. The irony is that dad doesn't ever seem to respect me unless I stand up to him. When I do that, things get better with us.

Hopefully, we're still parting on good terms and my leaving won't damage our relationship too much. I fully expect him to call me regularly after I leave and poor mouth my new job. When that happens, I'll bite his ass again. I also fully expect him to poor mouth me to you guys. When (not "if") that happens, bite your tongue. While I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't chime in with a "yeah, James sucks!" you don't need to start a fight with him to defend me. We've all spent time in his doghouse and it looks like I'm going to have a rather long-term stay there. Big fucking deal. There are some things that make me lose sleep at night. This won't be one of them.

I've got computer problems at home, y'all, so I probably won't post again until Monday. If I can, I'll do so from the office.

Amos and Andy?

...man, you guys ARE old!

To the older coops

That line was actually from Friday. Smoky says "I got mind control over Dbow, he tell me to shut up... I be quiet, but when he leave.. I be talkin again"

Anyway, I guess if doin what im doin means keep taking 2 hour lunches playing playstation then RIGHT ON! j/k.

I always heard that . . .

. . . having your pecker face one direction or the other was for fucking around corners. Also LMAO at Mark's line, but I didn't recognize it either. Sounds like an old Amos & Andy line or something.

I'd just like to thank all of the little people..

Hey thanks Jim. I appreciate the kudos, but my dick is still very medium and it doesn't so much swing as just hang to the left. It was a very nice deal. 97.5% of my annual quota in the first quarter. But enough about me. Let's talk about you guys, What do you guys think about me?

Mark, I laughed my ass off about the whole BBUUUURRP thing. and where did you get the line "When he say shut up, I's shuts up. When he leave, I be talkin again" Funny shit.

Mike, You just keep doin what you're doin man!

That's AAALLL Right!

So Rob, are you going to chime in and tell us from the horse's mouth that it is a done deal? If it is...WOW! Good for you man! It was the tire. Your good deed was rewarded a hundred-fold. Make note other brothers, it pays to be good to me!! Seriously though, great job. YOU'RE THE MAN!

Mike, what can I say? I guess our boy's all growds up! I'm glad your job is starting to become fruitful. May this be the tip of the iceburg for you!