Today's funny picture

I'm serious dude, I'm having a crisis here. I just sharted.

That wasn't Phil Hartman who said that but rather Phil Hoffman, who while not as funny as Hartman, is still pretty good in the right role. I got the above line from Along Came Polly which I avoided seeing for a year for fear of it being brain damage-inducingly stupid. Well, it so happened that ACP was funnier than hell and made me laugh my ass off. Check it out if you haven't yet.

Mark and Mike, great seeing y'all this weekend. Rob, hope you and the family had a nice time in Arkansas.

I am back here in Alabama now and back at my plow. After working out this morning and eating lean today, I feel like I'm finally pulling out of my Thanksgiving food coma. Mikey, you started telling me about my training regimen before you left but we didn't get a chance to finish. Call me sometime this week.

Name something, other than clothes, that you find in your closet.

How about clothes you're too fat for!!

(hand over heart, homage to the late great Phil Hartman)

Peace boys! Hope every0ne has a great turkey day. Give yourselves all a big hug and kiss from the Arkansas Coopers.

ohh kayyyyy

A simple "I don't agree" would've worked as well.....

(Just thought I would intervene on James' part)

See yall Tomorrow! Rob, Hopefully we'll see you sometime Saturday or Sunday

Whatever Dude

We are all stupider for having read that. I guess that the dog in your analogy represents "society" right?

Your post reminded me of the ramblings of an incoherent, sleep deprived alcoholic. At no time did you come close to making any sense at all. I award you NO points....And may God have mercy on your soul.

Bill Clinton

Many in the GOP and on the right in general hated (as much as I hate to admit to that word) Bill Clinton back during the 1990s. The reasons are many and varied but the main one is this. Bill Clinton was the antithesis of Ronald Reagan.

The Right hated Bill Clinton for the same reason that Wile E. Coyote hated the Roadrunner. The same that Yosemite Sam hated Bugs Bunny. The same that you and I as adolescent Luv Ya Blue fans viscerally hated Terry Bradshaw and the Pittsburgh Steelers. Hatred borne out of the knowledge that no matter how good your team is, no matter how well they play or how much you may pull for them, deep down you know the other guy’s always going to be a little bit better.

It was a hatred borne out of envy and bewilderment that this man, whom the Right did not feel was morally deserving of the office of President, nevertheless always kept the affections of the American public (a plurality of them, anyway) no matter how many well fed Southern trailer park gals he banged and always seemed to able to trounce them whenever they thought they had him cornered. Were the Starr investigations a bad idea? No. Bill Clinton appointed the special prosecutor in the first place. Was it a bad idea to impeach President Clinton? In my opinion, with the benefit of hindsight and all of the history that has happened since then, I would say hell yes. It was a terrible idea and the GOP was rightfully punished for it during the 98 midterm elections. Before then, the GOP had “get Clinton” tunnel vision. Many on the right were determined to bring down Clinton for the government shutdown, the fundraising scandals, Whitewater, Hillary’s arrogant assumption of power in her own right and other reasons.

Bill Clinton has been called the Michael Jordan of politics. I don’t think that analogy is totally apt. I think a better comparison would be to call him the Muhammed Ali of politics. Ali would routinely destroy opponents bigger and more powerful than he. He was able to do this because he was smarter, quicker and could get under the skin of other fighters. In a toe-to-toe slug match with Sonny Liston or George Foreman, Ali gets carried out on a gurney. But, that’s not how it happened. As Ali would still be champion today were he to somehow be able to become 30 years younger, Clinton would still president today were he not constitutionally prevented from doing so. Not necessarily because he was better, but because he had a way of bringing out the worst in his opponents.

Do I think history will be kind to Clinton? Probably. With the caveat though that he presided over a relatively inconsequential era. A time of relative peace and prosperity that, let’s face it, didn’t test him too hard. I often wonder how well Clinton would have withstood the pressures that Bush has had to endure since 9/11. Fortunately, we’ll never know.

Karl ist my lovah!

The new quote above is from Dieter about whom, while reading an essay about Tom Wolfe, I found this website of his best quotes. Funny as hell for us Mike Myers fans out there (and really, who among us isn't?).

Robbie, your question about conservative "hatred" of Bill Clinton throws down my pants and taunts me. Well, actually it doesn't, but I don't have the time to go into it right now.

New J.O.B.

Hey Mark,

It was good to hear from you yesterday and to hear the enthusiasm in your vioice about the new job. I didn't understand a word that you said, but I'm excited. Life is a lot more fun when you can wake up looking forward to going to work.

Well, we are off to Little Rock on Tuesday. I am going to visit the Clinton library while in town. I really feel that history is going to be kind to him. Did any of you watch the interview with Peter Jennings last night. I thought Clinton was going to punch Jennings at one point. It was when Jennings asked him about his legacy and that Historians rank him 41st ( ahead of only Nixon) in the category of Moral Authority. Boy, that pissed ole bubba off. You have to admit, the whole Ken Starr thing was a witch hunt from the beginning. All those hundreds of millions of dollars to prove that he got a bj from a fat intern and then lied about it. So what.

James, what is your theory on why Clinton was so viscerally hated by the right?

It's THAT time of year again!!

Lillian and Finley Christmas
Originally uploaded by 3rdcoop.

This is Lillian with her new bud, Cousin Finley. Finley is Amber and Justin's baby.

I call this one the "Completely Sold Out to the Man" template

It's a good choice, and it's the choice of a new generation.

Has anyone heard the new Eminem song "Lose It"? Why do I think it's so funny? "Yeah boy shake that ass. Oops I mean girl. Girl girl girl"

I heard it's nothing but a big rip on Michael Jackson, but I haven't seen the video.

How 'bout this one?

Go on guys, tease me about the template some more. Go on. I found this foofy little template in only about 5 minutes. No telling what I could find if I put my mind to it!

James is NOT a dork, He's a geek.

Dork's play "dungeons & dragons" in their basements on Saturday night. Geeks play with their blogs.

So, It's Texas State now eh? I guess an STD by any other name...

I just got back from a meeting with Christian's teachers. The boy is definetly a chip off the old blockhead. They explained that Christian is "Very smart, witty, polite, outspoken but very, very unorganized and undisciplined" "Look ladies", I said "But you are describing me to a T when I was that age. And I could buy and sell all 4 of you many times." And that seemed to satisfy them for about a half an hour.

Seriously, the kid inherited all of my flaws. And wouldn't ya know it, but the one thing I have to pass on to a son, good size and athletic ability, didn't make it through. He is a good face guy though and is good at reciting movie lines.

There are a few of my records that I would just as soon not have him attempt to break.

James, could you BE any more of a DORK!!

Actually, I just changed the subtitle, so I guess I'm a dork too. This new template may prove to up our hits, as anything Matrix is typically a geek-magnet.

Mike, you've been quiet lately. Que paso, huey?

Not much new round here. Just getting into a routine, which is such a welcome change. Lillian is full-blown crawling now so we had to go and baby proof the house. James, I have a picture of her that looks so much like Courtney it's scary. I'd post it but it's not digital and I'm too lazy to scan it.

Our weekend

Erica and I took Megan and Peter (a friend of her's, the one who dressed up as JFK to her Marilyn Monroe on Halloween) to ahem Texas State University this weekend. Texas State is of course the college formerly known as Southwest Texas State University.

Anyway, as my memories of the college in San Marcos are 20 years old now (and fogged by the mass quantities of alcohol consumed while there) I must say that I was pleasantly surprised by what I found. The campus is beautiful, as is San Marcos itself. I know I've lived close to there for the past four years but I've never made it a point to actually go in and see the town. Anyway, Megan is set on going there despite the fact that she could probably get into any school in Texas she applied to. She has been adamant since at least junior high that she wants to be a teacher and I have every confidence that she will do just that.

I guess the name change is the college's way of trying to move up in the world. They have obviously spent a ton of money on the change too as the letters SWT wasn't to be found anywhere on campus. Plus, they've got a great new logo in this:


. . . and if anyone thinks coming up with stylized logos like this is easy really should check out Oliver Stone's bowel movement Any Given Sunday to see how badly teams can fuck up in decorating their helmets. Or look at any of the old USFL's teams (jeez, remember the Arizona Wranglers Rob?).

Anyway, back to the main point, Megan has decided that when we decamp for the Orange State come next summer she will remain behind and go to college here. That will be a big crybaby day at my house when that time comes, I can assure you all.

New template

Since I'm tired of all the standard templates on blogger, I found this Agent Smith themed one on the internet. I'll keep this one 'til I get sick of it too. Y'all are welcome to go and find new ones too if you want.

Megan '05

Here's one of Megan's cap & gown photos that we recently had done. Damn, is she pretty or what?

Of course, I'm telling everyone that she gets her looks from me.

Carlin fix

"Treated and released." I like that term. I always wanted to be treated and released.

Usually, I'm treated and detained.

And so they dove

. . . and the enemy was foiled again!

"Looks like we foiled them again" said Dave.

"Yeah, we foiled them again."

Very good, Rob, very good. You throw out the obligatory Throw Momma quote out there only to disguise the real quote which was your oblique reference to A Fish Called Wanda. Probably thought you could fool me too, didn't you? Well asswipe, I have news for you:

You fool! You fell for the second classic blunder! The first is to never get involved in a land war in Asia, but the second is never bet against a Sicilian when death is on the line! A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Seriously, if you're going to compare yourself to Otto, you should at least learn how to spell Nietzsche.

I just sell this technology stuff

I don't understand any of it. Kinda like an ape selling books by Nitsche.

"Dive" said Dave into the thing ( or whatever it was)

This Bud's for you, Rob

Or should I say "This butt's for you?"

Anyway, this fine specimen of well-nourished Southern womanhood comes to us from the Rob man who, despite having a prestigous and lucrative career in commercial software, can't seem to figure out how to post his own photos.

Like I've got nothing better to do, eh Robbie?! Put your suggestions for a caption in the comments, guys.

Got day one done, son!

Yeah. I got them to come up a bit on the car allowance. I'm glad I did it, cuz this playa can't roll on 300! I'm leaning toward getting a Nissan Murano. It's got plenty of front/back seat space, easy to get in and out of, easier on the gas (than my truck anyway), and it looks pretty sporty. I just have to get over the fact that my wife would have an SUV that could drive over mine by accident.

Day 1 went well. They put me in the warehouse this week to re-acquaint me with the logistics of distribution. In a month I will get my account list and it will be time to hit the road/phones. I met a customer today who runs a packing materials plant in Grand Prairie. He makes bubble wrap and what-not and he buys all of his process control equipment from Reynolds. These are the kinds of accounts I will get, by and large. I think I'm going to dig this pretty good.

About the spiritual matters, I completely agree with what you said Rob. Your emotional state can be managed in many ways; some more productive than others. I happen to believe that the Christian way, the way of surrender, is the best way. What I meant by not having any choice referred to "why" we would change our emotional state. Outside of Christ, we can manage ourselves and our emotions with varying degrees of success. But the "why" is always to serve ourselves. In Christ, we have the option to actually deny ourselves and serve God where we otherwise don't have this option.

So in conclusion, IF YOU DON'T GET UP AND COME FORWARD TODAY THE LORDS THROUGH WITH YA DEVIL'S GOTCHA I AIN'T S%*TTIN YA... YOU BACK THERE COLORING WITH THE CRAYON, I SEE YA

This ain't no revival meeting Delma!

Mark,

Congradulations on getting the offer and accepting it. Did you get them to come up on the car allowance?

I enjoyed your post, but in the spirit of open discussions, I can't say that I agree with everything that you said. The ability to manage your emotional state is not accomplished through spritual means alone. It is also a sign of maturity (or in some cases, spiritual maturity). I feel that I do a fairly decent job of handling life's peaks and valleys.

A.D.D. Flash: Two cannibals are sitting by a campfire eating a clown when one of them looks at the other and says, "Does he taste funny?" (rimshot)

I love ya too, man!

. . . but you're still not getting my Bud Light.

Seriously though, congrats on the new job.

A New Adventure

Well I got the offer from The Reynolds Company, accepted it (after negotiating it a bit w.r.t. the car allowance), and I start tomorrow. I can't describe how weird this is. Not necessarily bad weird, just weird.

Five months ago we were plugging along in DFW, allbeit slow, getting the Centex office up and running. I was in it for the long haul. Well, at least for the next three years because that was the lease we signed on the commercial bldg.

Wow.

As I reflect on things before starting this new job, I marvel at how much life can change so quickly and how precious life is. I'm not sad though. I mean, I still have my moments but right now I'm feeling so content with life. I have everything I need. I'm learning to tie my inner joy to my walk with Christ. When Reynolds didn't call me when they said they would, and I thought they would fizzle out like those other two "sure thing" jobs did, I decided to react a different way.

I felt myself starting to get depressed (which has been easy for me lately), but then I changed my attitude. I told myself that I had a savior in my heart and enough money in my pocket for a cheeseburger so I'm ALLRIGHT. Amazingly, it worked. I felt what the bible calls "The peace from God that trancends all human understanding". This story doesn't have a whole lot of power though because I got the offer like an hour later. But that's beside the point. I think being a Christian is about the freedom to make choices like this, rather than having your world decide how you will react for you.

Granted, I still could have very easily gone the other way and it wouldn't have meant that I am less of a Christian. I just think that before I became a Christian, I didn't have a choice. Maybe I could have managed my state to a more positive one, but it still would have been tied to something in this world that serves me, like my ability to get another job.

You all know there is a God. That we are precious in His sight, and He loves us will never cease to amaze me.

You know, I saw a movie last week with Susan called "What the Bleep Do We Know?", which uses Quantum Physics and other nerdy science topics like Super String Theory (blah blah blah) to point out that the only rational explanation for why anything exists is that a higher power outside the constraints of our dimension designed it. They go on to point out that we must be spiritually tied to it somehow simply because we are self-aware. The film was a weird blend of science and philosophy that had a great and poetic way of pointing out the significance of the otherwise mundane details of life. How we are always effecting ourselves, others, and our environment simply by being in it. It was a cool flick, until they started to devolve into pantheistic rants about us all being dormant gods and that everything that is alive is god. One of the scientist at the end is even praying to his spiritual self, which is just completely silly.

Anyway, my point is that I agree with one of the earlier ideas (that I got out of it anyway) about the fact that nothing is insignificant. We are all beautiful and life is an adventure. We've all been rocked with a terrible tragedy, but the sun has come up again. I hope you all are getting through this successfully. It's still hard for me at times. I know it must be for you all too.

I love you guys.

I'll let y'all know how my first week goes at the Reynolds Co. (no, not the aluminum foil people...GAWWWSH!) That reminds me, Rob and Mike, you need to go see Napoleon Dynamite. It's a dumb movie, but James and I quote it often.

Oh, and by the way . . .

Velvet Revolver was fucking awesome. Me and Erica went and saw them in Austin Monday night and they rocked.

Four more years!

America, fuck yeah!

Thanks James!

I love all of your sub-titles.

Big brother after taking a dose of Emily's concentrated Spider-girl whoop-ass.

Little boy 'bout to get a dose of Spider-girl whoop-ass

Spider-girl!

La casa de la playa

Chillin'

Shots!

Happy kids, happy Rob

My favorite nieces

Da beach

I don't have a job yet!

I'm waiting to get the offer from the company, hopefully sometime today, then I was going to make it official. The VP of sales was attending an Automation Conference last week. He told me that I would get an offer, assuming everything checked out on my background check, and that we would get together sometime on Monday (today) to discuss the finer points.

"Retainer!! Yoa sichoowashin would be greatly improved, heretofoa, if I had five hunid dallaz in my hand"

Anyway, I called him this morning, sent him an e-mail this afternoon, still no word yet. Now all I can do is wait. I hate this crap! I don't want to be like the cable guy :"Hey it's me again, I was just in the bathroom and thought you may have called!"

I do feel good about it though. The job is for Account Manager with The Reynolds Company. They are a wholesale distributor for industrial electrical equipment and datacom products. Broadly speaking, they sell to commercial contractors and manufacturers. My degree, and three yrs industry experience in Chicago apply here. Anyway, more on this when I actually get the job.

I already talked to all of you individually about this, but Jeff is willing an honored to act as the chief of Centex. Jen and Enrique know too. All that's left to do is make sure the estimators are on board, which they will be. They all like Jeff and feel he would lead the company in a smart way.

What's up?

Mark, I have to hear about your new job from Susan? WTF?! Tell us about it.

Our Halloween was cool. Courtney dressed as a "Vampire Cheerleader" and we had fun passing out candy to all the little ghouls in the neighborhood.

Robbie, are you working out any more? I still am. I am eating lean and hitting the stairmaster after each workout religiously. Still, I can't seem to lose weight lately. Mikey, I'm thinking about going on a creatine supplement. What do you think?

I'm still in SA right now. Erica and I are going to go see Velvet Revolver in concert tonight in Austin so that should be cool. Tomorrow, I will brave the lines at the polls and cast my ballot for another four years of Bush/Cheney. After then, I'll hop on a plane and head back east.

Speaking of the election . . . man, I wish I had a more confident feeling about it. A lot of writers I admire are saying the hell with all the polls, Dubya is going to win in a blowout. I don't know. A lot of others (conservatives) are saying that the wind is blowing against him and that it would be good for the country if the Democrats win because it would force them to dump the morally unserious hard left and actually grow up. If Kerry were in power, the argument goes, the Democrats wouldn't have the luxury of just sitting on the sidelines bitching about Bush and Cheney and throwing red meat to their partisans by insinuating that the invasion of Iraq was cooked up just to enrich Halliburton. If they were forced to confront reality (which, to govern, you have to do) they'd have to ditch the hard left and work with the GOP. That's the theory anyway. I admnit, it does have its appeal but ultimately I don't find it all that convincing, myself. I don't believe in rewarding bad behavior.

Anyway, tomorrow promises to be a nail-biter. Guys, we have a lot of very good, very brave young men getting shot at and sometimes blown up to give the Iraqis the chance to vote for their leaders. The least we can do is exercize our same rights over here.